My mind clogged with memories
My heart weighed down by emotions
Lips twitching from smiles to trembling tears,
So much had changed, so much lost, so much gained.
New starts are always bright. Things always start happy. The day always starts when the sun shines on us. Everything ends with darkness though. Friendships, love, relations, and acquaintances- the end is always gloomy. A Happy ending is not a concept in reality. In life, the end is death. And each death is a sorrow to at least one other living soul, an undeniable loss. But an end is also when circumstances change. Change is an end in many ways. When you move or leave a place, end of an era. Sure, there are memories. But it’s an end to a chapter in your life, good or bad.
Even when new starts are bright and happy, we fail to ignore the itchy dried eyes from the last night, when we cried away our pain into the dark night. We do forget the poignant tears in the morning, to start “fresh”. We fail to hear the screaming memories over the current smiles and laughter. But they are memories. They find a way back to us, in one way or the other. And although they can be a blissful journey to the past, they can be a knife to the already bruised souls from every experience we’ve ever had. It’s not just me, or you. It’s every human life ever. That’s where the sadness creeps in on us. That’s when the sun hides behind the clouds and the rains cry along with us. This is when the sea goes mad; the waves fly high, blocking the horizon from sight. This is when, the change is brought to our conscious, and we realize we are never going to be the person we once were. We are never going to be with those people we once loved, still love with all our hearts. It is overwhelming how easily bonds that took so long to form, would break in just a heartbeat, how the promises and dreams now make no sense. We are never going to go back to those particular days of laughs and smiles when we built castles in the air. The laughter now is belittled in comparison to the past, because, some kingdoms we made in our heads, fell before they were formed.
Even though we are happy looking people on the outside, we all hold a sea of such nostalgia in our hearts forever, which decides to pour out in the most unimaginable times, or sometimes when we are alone and idle. Even though we are content with our present, there is always an ache from the dark dungeons of the past. This is the truth of human life no one can run from. We are all slaves to our own overpowering pasts, to every experience, that taught us lessons, every mistake that made us fall, every stab always stays as a wound, healed or not.
The Word Warrior,