and TRAVELOGUE – 1
the previous parts to the second installment!!!
She smiled, happily hummed away a song as she made herself a crown, sturdy enough to last days. She was dressed in white silk and lace, all beautiful and charming, she knew they’d come. She knew they’d come to her, they loved her. The meadows were beautiful, lush green, a stream flowing somewhere invisibly, the sound of water hitting the rocks, added a beat to her songs. She skipped around, looking for any signs of love, as she was sure to find one in this lovely place. She sat on the velvet-like grass and took in the fresh air straight from the mountains ahead. The huge, beautiful mountains that spread their arms wide to embrace her little self, she denied them. She waited. She refused the beautiful forget-me-not skies to rain over her. She smiled at the rainbow, but asked it to wait, as a dear friend would. She asked the rainbow to listen to her, and the music around them.
The green meadow complimented her beautiful white dress. The silky fabric clung to her body as the breeze blew through the lace on the hem of her dress. Her head felt heavy, even in a beautiful place as this, she felt uncomfortable. The greenery around her was fresh as if it was just morning. But it wasn’t. The day was about to end. And she had waited here, all day. There was too much happiness in the air around her, but she felt none. She felt cold, loveless and alone. Betrayed.
She felt like an idiot, standing there, she stopped believing she was beautiful. Her tears watered the grass around her. As she stood, another chilled breeze shook her. The crown she had made for herself slipped from her temples, a wilted, broken mess, on the ground. She thought she was loved. But this day, these long hours of waiting, expecting, made her believe no one loved her. Why would they? She always asked for too much. The mountains around her seemed to be falling on her, as she felt the hate creep into her gut. She felt the weight of the now darkening clouds on her shoulder. The rainbow had far from vanished and there was nothing pleasant about this place. The trees seemed to hate her, her love was never true. The birds all flew away from her. Her hair was tangled and damp and she was all alone, waiting for something unknown to make her feel better. But with every passing minute, she felt worse.
She felt left out, in this huge place, though beautiful, full of hate. It was a mirage, she assured herself. This place only looked loving, but it made you feel so alone, so little, so unwanted.
She was disappointed and empty. She had nothing. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to love.
Her face was salty with all the tears, but no one could see them. Her hands shivered in the cold sunset, and no one came to warm them. She wanted to talk, to tell someone how she felt, but there was no one who would listen. They had told her they would never leave her, and she had believed them. Yet, here she was, all alone. She walked around in the shadows of trees and walked further in where the plantation grew dense. She walked, now scared and her legs wobbling into the woods, as darkness finally fell. She felt sick and tired. She was thirsty, but all around her, everything was dry. She wanted now, to go back to the green, beautiful place. But she was too deep inside to find her way back. She wanted to scream for help, but all that came out were tears, as she kept losing hopes and reasons to live.
She could hear promises being crumpled under her foot like the dried leaves and wood. She could hear the evil laughter in the thunders above. She broke into a run, a run away from the entire trauma, from all the sadness, from all the pain and hurt that she herself had inflicted on her. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t run away from herself. And she knew she had to live with the pain, for all the life that was left in her now. She ran, faster, as fear chased after her, she ran, not for her life, but to get away from it. She ran, to rescue herself.
Her breath heavy, her dress all dirty and torn, her hands cut and bleeding, her legs giving up, she fell. She fell and now she knew, with all hopes lost, she would never get up. Never go back to that place. Never go looking for it again. Never run away…