She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t anxious about ending the year. Maybe this is how it was done. Maybe you weren’t required to review the whole year before it ended just before midnight. But she felt restless. And she hadn’t been doing so for more than two years now. She had to get used to being out of focus. After all, she had accepted her “lost” state of mind. “Alice in wonderland” they called her. But she was, in a way, happy to be like this. She did not feel anything anymore because she wasn’t paying heed to the current emotions. She was lost all the time.
And she was lost, with the clock ticking away quicker than ever, her anxiousness rose. She knew just what could calm her. She had thought watching “Harry Potter” movies back to back would do the trick, but clearly, it wasn’t helping. She’d order pizza and eat away the 12:00 AM into 2017. Everything was planned, but she couldn’t feel at rest. So she wrote.
She wrote great things. She wrote her heart out, as always. And she felt quiet. She went slowly back in time, starting from the beginning of the current day. She had woken up, made herself tea, slid into the most comfortable clothes and continued the Harry Potter marathon that she had started a day back. She watched all through breakfast and lunch. She drank the last of the huge bottle of soft drink in the refrigerator. She ignored bickering and naggings from her parents. She wanted to feel good. How hard could that be?
She had watched four movies by now, and the fifth one was buffering. She saw (adoringly) the last sunset of the year. She was excited. What’s wrong with being excited? She posted a picture with a huge caption on the social media. She had been sharing her day on the social media almost every hour. Yes, she loved the social media in a way.
In another, she hated it. Social media, after all, was the reason for her anxiety. People out there were making New Year plans, resolutions, partying or reviewing their years. And she had no opinion of her own year that was about to end in a few hours now. She was forcefully being guided by the numerous memes and jokes and quotes into thinking the way they did. She was being forced to think of it like they did, and wasn’t able to have her own word on it. She needed to calm her brains down to be able to think! Think!
She saw the sun go down, arguments running in her head, and pressure building up. She saw the last of dusk and a beautiful crescent moon rise up. The moon peeped through the city smog, not waiting for it to be dark enough; playing with her already messed up emotions. The moon overwhelmed her. She prayed to God with a tear in her eye. She saw the mood disappear as night crawled into the city. wiping her tears, she got up, an unknown determination inside told her she was ready for the new year. Some good feelings inside told her, it wasn’t necessary to plan the next year out or remember her past. Something from deep within told her, she was going to be fine, and she had her subconscious making her resolutions. All she did, hence, was continue watching her movies, ordered a pizza and thought of how she would step into the New Year. She would talk to people, wish those warm wishes, and be there for many other lonely people, who just like her, did not make such a fuss of finishing this year. Or did they?
She would welcome the new year warmly and dive into it with full force, her flamboyant and happy-go-lucky self, doing as much good as it could to herself, and to the rest of the world.
A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
THE WORD WARRIOR