Coming Back Up II

It makes me so happy to finally write this. To finally be able to say that I am making my way up there!! I am swimming back to the surface. And I am so excited to see you all the way you all saw me before. The way you all loved me?!

Yes, I am going to come back soon. Out of the negative phase, fighting the waves of the sea, the storms from the densest of waters and the monsters that fight with you in the deep dark underwater!

Here’s what has to be done:

  1. Let go of the negative (of course, duh!)
  2. Love yourself and know your worth.
  3. Be the truest form of you, (got to fight a lot here)
  4. Don’t care. Carefree is the key! (T&Capply)

And here is how to achieve this all in a way that stands true for every kind of depression.

  • Starting with the key. Carefree. You got that load of work pending (so what, aren’t you the procrastinator always?) just don’t care about it. You need these days to heal yourself. Let that work stay there for a while. Let it pound over the doors of time. Close them. Shut them tight. Time has to stop. Time has to wait! I know this sounds very awful and misleading, but believe me, it feels like time never was wasted once you are out. Believe me!
  • You need to stop stressing. Be it work, people or yourself that causes the stress, stop letting them bother you at all. Curse them all, yourself even for being so dull. Let the work be, let the people scream, shout, or yell. Don’t give a damn! That is what gives them the rights to make you feel low. Letting them stress you is what actually stresses you. Your soul is made to love and to enjoy and not to stress over asses! (I mean donkeys here!)
  • Once you stop caring about others, shut the part of you that is the most stubborn. Most pessimist. This is a difficult task. Takes about a week! Because of course, you have to pamper yourself, because no one cares, blah blah blah. Let’s be honest. There are people who would love you, care for you, if only you gave them a chance. Oh, you are scared you mistook them? I said, give them ONE chance. How hard could that be? Give everyone a chance, a second chance even. Be cool with people, love everyone, if they don’t love you back, they can go the hell out of your life. But one chance. Please! Try.
  • Be you! Defining yourself seems easy. It is not. It is the most difficult. As humans, we are all so very molded in a way to believe what the society tell us. Our brain accepts the information it gets without processing. Grow up. Be like those people who think over things, in their own way. Be like them, idealize them for this one thing. To start thinking for yourself. Not everything everyone says or not everything you ever believed has to be true. And you have to learn that.
  • Research. Google it up. Be it “sarcasm” or “puns” (I did google them up because they were bothering me) do a good research on every mental, physical, emotional phenomenon that is bothering you. Make physical notes. Read. Read from everywhere possible! And write down what you think about it. After having known something from so many points of view, you are bound to have one for yourself. And it is not necessary for the society to accept it. More often than never they will, but they mostly won’t. Believe me, it doesn’t matter. Write down your own constitution and live by it. Your principles, your rules, your psychology. No one will understand it better than you. You are the philosopher! Think! Think useful.(spare overthinking here XD )
  • The toughest part is implementing the laws that you made for yourself. Change is not always rapid in humans. It takes a lot of time to carve the perfect figure according to your desire. Here, let time do its magic. You will need the time. So, you are not wasting time not doing your work, or stressing over people. You are using that time for healing yourself. Like that. See?

 

  • One of the most important things is to know your worth. You are not defined by who your parents are, which family or religion you belong, where you live, which language you speak, who your friends are. You are one unique individual. Different from them all! Be you. The principles you made for yourself shall come handy here. To value your life, to value you as an individual is important. This makes you love the person you are.
  • Be proud of everything you went through. Cry when you remember the pain. Cry and let it all out. But be proud in the end, because even though you are such a mess, you smile every day, for the world to see. You do not sit inside the house thinking of everything that could go wrong. Be proud of your strength to actually step out the door every day, subconsciously in pursuit of happiness.
  • Smile. Smile that real smile for once, smile the smile of ultimate pride because you made it this far, and you are still going on. There is no reason to be dull, sad or not lively. Be a happy person, feel that enthusiasm feel the magic of nature, the way it pours rains on you at the exact moments. The way that song reminds of that exact memory, that person. You can’t have it back. But you have the memory, and you have a whole life, a playground, so many places to go and make new memories. Remake the old ones and visit the nostalgic paths. Cry once in a while and let it all go. Talk to people who can relate. Talk to people who make you feel better.

(trailing off….)

Talk to them who seem to care. If they talk behind your back, don’t let it bother you. You should be confident in what you do. Do bad things even, when you want to. Take revenge, make mistakes. Do things that you know are not right. Do. Do and learn. Anything is better than nothing. Live.

Smile at people. Listen to loud music that makes your head spin. Listen to such loud music that hurts your head. Listen to good words. Read good things. Read the positive things on the web. Go on Pinterest, Tumblr, be the fan you are. Go crazy over little things. Get excited about every event in life. Dress up, be gorgeous, be wonderful! Dance hard. Do what you love. Read, write, paint, draw, even if none of what you did makes sense. Do it till infinity. Dance till you can no longer breathe. Write till your fingers become numb. Read till you fall asleep, paint till all the colors are emptied off their containers. Do it, even if it makes no sense. It is something you love. It is bound to give you pleasure. Sing loud as you can, play that rusting instrument in the corner, even if you are no pro. It is yours, it is your voice. Just like it is your life. And you should know that you have every right to it!

Don’t let them bring you down by their definition of what you are., it is inappropriate. Unless and until you have defined yourself in a way, no one can call you otherwise. You have to get up. Fight all of that negativity in life. Fight more with everything else that I could not mention, fight everything that never bothered me, but is bothering you. Reason out your problems, weigh them, prioritize. And give yourself the highest priority. You were made to live. Not to go with the flow. Not follow them, be the leader. Be the best you can. Don’t leave things out to regret. Don’t leave anyone sad or hurt. Don’t measure your words, but never say what you don’t mean.

Be crazy. Be happy. Live.

These are the keywords to life.

 

My story. I am not ashamed of me. Or my life. I don’t mind sharing.

Introspection #2

I have been through such a negative phase before too. I have been down there underwater before and it had taken me months to get back to normal. But I did. And I was proud. I cry a lot behind closed doors, in the dark. I go through unreasonable traumas and tantrums which no one knows of. But I managed to get out of every situation like this.  And I am proud.

So this time, when such negativity struck me right down to the sea bed or when I hit the sea floor and it hurt, is when I woke up. I knew, I wasn’t staying here. I gave myself the time. Explained to them who wanted to understand, who cared. I did many wrong things during this period of time. And I apologise. I am going to at least try to make things better. I hope I will.

So with time, I tried being positive. I worked. I talked with people I cried. And I sat on the couch listening to loud music. Singing loud, I even danced like a mad woman, I did all of it. I drowned out the negativity. I wrote. First with my hand and a pen for an hour and then sat on my desk typing away for another hour. But I did everything I could. I tried to live. I tried. I fought my way back. I am still swimming. And it takes a lot of energy. I’ll let time take the most of me. I’ll let myself heal. I’ll give myself this chance.

 

Ps: did not expect the 2nd part to be longer than the first. But it feels worth it. You awesome guys who made it all the way down here, I love you all. Hope this one helps you all at some point in life. I have really been typing since the past one hour in full speed, no kidding.

The Word Warrior Shall Rise, XD

kashafS.

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One thought on “Coming Back Up II

  1. Patty says:

    Great post Kash. Don’t forget to be realistic too; these days of feeling down and negative will come along again. But now you know how to tackle them 😉
    XxX

    Like

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