Not yet…

DISCLAIMER: This post is in sharp and strict contradiction with one of my previous posts, cursing love: Nothing Like Love. It is not that I believe in love already, NO. I will when I can say that I lived “happily ever after”. But when someone out there trying so hard to make it that way, I will not let him down. Especially for you and for our little funny and weird relationship. A warning to run when you still can 😛 . It’s dark and complicated with me. Just so you know what you are in for!!

*Katy Perry’s Dark Horse Plays in the background*

“So you wanna play with magic? Boy you should know wat you’re falling for”

Jokes apart, the real post here:

 

Another soul came my way, trying to light up the dark insides. But can anyone even do that? I don’t care if they don’t. I love to have people who love me. I have been through tough times and it won’t be easy to get into something knowing that those times are coming back, the history is repeating. But it feels different this time. It feels harder to let go…

His eyes wide,
I remember them just so well,
That fair skin, paler,
His trembling hands,
Holding mine, afraid.
His heartbeats, I heard,
So afraid was I,
Of my own tears,
Thet never showed,
Of my heart, void of feelings,
That could break his,
So thoughtful was I,
Seeing his love,
Would this be it?
Will he leave?
But then he slipped his hands,
Left mine,
I looked up in shock,
Knowing that dark befalls yet again,
Another one had come,
And he’d be gone,
For my heartless soul,
For my empty, loveless insides,
But he took me back,
Held me this time, closer,
And hugged me for what seemed like forever.

©The Word Warrior

It will be difficult for me to feel again. I know. It is very difficult to cry or to have any emotion whatsoever. I know I could be smiling and happy because that is what my heart chooses to feel. When the bad times fall, this heart just refuses to feel anything at all. It becomes like a cold stone making myself so cold. people might think that I have no feelings, but I think that it’s my heart now, numb with pain, that it feels pain no more. Just melts with warm happiness.

This is for dearest you, to understand, that I shall take time. But you are the one I wish to provide with the love that I craved for all this time. I know you need it, want it. And after all is said and done, you do make my heart warm and it just melts to see you. But I won’t take any more pain like any other normal human being. I don’t want you to go, leave, not yet. Not when I actually get attached. I know I look weird, but that’s just me for now. Accept this mess as your own. Because she is yours now…

Much Love,

©The Word Warrior In Love Again!

-KashafS ❤

PS: I know I take sharp turns with bluntly hurting and sounding funny and then going all dark. It is out of order, just like me! But lost and messy is how I define myself, right?

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Not yet…

  1. Thehungryballer says:

    I must say…..go on …keep falling in love each time you get a chance.
    For all the uncertainty it comes loaded with, the butterflies and jitters make it worth to experience each time 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cezane & Michelle says:

    Okay, now i think this is going to turn out to be one heck of a long comment but anywho, i know for sure my dear one will read all the way 😄.
    You know what defines talent in this art of writing mostly comes from when we think from our hearts and not from our minds..
    You have written a number of scintillating posts Kashaf and all of them infer to how versatile of a writer you can when placed in different enviroments in life.. your heart just eases its way out in writing the purest of magnificent lines.

    Signs, these what we see in your blog are clear signs of a person who is born to write. Your expressions carried in every line hold a deep meaning in this post and i felt the direction of love channeling through down the start of it to when it fell down like a beautiful waterfall on the poem dedicated to the person you cherish most at the moment.

    This is also a look up to a lovely couple on the unfold! I can bet on it… as i pray strongly for your love to unfold not in inches but in miles every other day. You deserve this in your life and this is a beautiful tribute to Love..
    Oh and Im also Jelous at the moment. Going to ask Michelle to write something for me 😄. – Cezane

    Like

  3. Cezane & Michelle says:

    Oh my! Turned out quite long…
    All in all.. you know what im saying.
    *High Fives*
    Loved this post. 😄 – Cezane

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s