The disORDER of things
Today, after half a decade, I scavenged through the old and dusty drawers. To no surprise, I was suddenly reminded of how much I loved art!! I sat on the bedroom floor cross legged, much like my faded memory of myself and some so called friends sitting and playing with the hand-me-down dolls, cars and play-sets. I have been given most of the lower part of the shelves and drawers for my stuff in my room. My personal kitchen-turned-bedroom, which is no more than 15 sq ft, is mostly occupied by the soft mattresses meant for me and my sister, but I hardly sleep in there anymore.
Most of the four hours I spent this afternoon were in looking at some ancient looking thing with an alien expression, and then smiling broadly on realization of when it was from. There are two drawers at the bottom of our cupboard. One contained so many artistic stuff, my paintings, dried up water color bars, bottles of paints, various ranges of broken crayons, fancy craft materials, my half-done-pieces-of craftiness, card games, wedges and dice from different board games, some building block pieces, and such other adorable stuff. The other one was as boring as the first one was interesting. It had some old books, school and college notebooks, journals, and badly scored answer papers probably hidden from my own view to avoid disappointment. I had a table full of last years books and stuff in my dad’s room, which I cleared out first much to dad’s silent thankfulness. I opened up my book shelf in my room and tried to stuff everything that I could not decide what to do with, inside. And there I found old personal diaries dating back to 2009!! Such silly and girly stuff I wrote about! Such unimportant stuff I used to think and those actually even meant so much to me. How silly I could get! even being a kid! duh! I do hate that girl in the diaries of past. I opened them randomly and snapped them all shut, irritably. I kept sneezing at regular intervals thanks to my allergy of dust inherited from dad.
By the time two hours were up, I was fatigued and the afternoon sun was making it hotter in my high windowed room. I sat leaning on the marble seat reading some of my kiddish poems, and giggling when I remembered the memory associated with each of them. I found my whole collection of the Sunday newsletter YA! , abbreviation for young adults. It was an attractive piece of newspaper meant for little kids and early teenagers that I usually looked forward to every Sunday. Oh! So much for those carefree days. I decided I did not require them anymore, we have computers for all the fun and info we need. It’s better to make space for future. And saying so I had emptied completely two drawers of useless things. Much of them with a heavy heart and rest with frustration and crankiness about my past. I just did not require things to remind me of these days. This was not my brains. Here I could decide what to keep and what to discard. And I only chose to keep the happy and special parts. Of course I never throw away my diaries. I secretly ideate to find some stories from them for my book. I did have an interesting life, regardless of the way I wrote it in my diaries. And moreover, I had a different angle of seeing it now.
Once I was done shockingly four hours of hunting, I felt hungry. Something that rarely happens. I never get hungry to be honest and I am not much of an eater. I forgot to mention that I cooked rice for the day since mom was out at some relatives’. I had lunch at an abnormal hour and I saw dad enjoying his Sunday, sleeping through it! He must have not noticed I was away from my computer desk for such a long period. I watched two episodes of PLL and dad awoke cranky and shouted at me for doing “nothing”. After having cooked and cleaned my storage of a room, he seemed to have noticed nothing except for the fact that I had been sitting on the computer desk since morning. And he gave me some more work to do! I envied my sister who had to do noting since she got only Sundays off from work. Putting my lethargic foot heavily on the tiles, I headed away from the blank screen and blinking cursor to do as told. And mind you, I could not have had a more cranky and fatigued Sunday ever. That reminds me of tea. I’d better have my evening tea ready before I get any crankier.
That was my Sunday! I know I don’t do such posts here on my blog, but I just felt the unnecessary need to let people know I am cranky with unreasonable depression dawned on me.
Till next time! 😉