WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE, YOU FALL RIGHT INTO IT,
YOU FALL INTO THE DARK PIT AND YOU NEVER REACH THE BASE AND YOU REALIZE THAT YOU UNDERESTIMATED THE FALL, UNDERESTIMATED WHAT YOU DESERVED, AND YOU WERE PUNISHED, YOU FELL WITH A THUD, TO THE ROCK BOTTOM, ALL ALONE. YOU WERE STRANDED, NOW YOU KNOW, THERE IS NOTHING LIKE LOVE…
She pushed her head back to avoid tears flowing down. But the sun burnt her vision and more tears fell instead. She remembered: someone had asked her if she ever cried, and she could not reply. Frustrated, she slapped the front of her wrists into her eyes.
She hated being so weak.
This one thing had always seemed so important in life. She had always ran after this and it always slipped like sand right through her fingers. But she waited.
She knew this was it.
She knew it would come back.
Like it always did.
She was so confident. She had to wait long intervals before she could lay her hands on it. But when she did, she felt best. That little periodic event was the one she waited for, for years together. But even seeing it for a day was everything to her.
THAT was how passionately crazy she had been. She wanted this ONE thing so bad, she waited, daydreaming, thinking, fantasizing. She was sure this was hers to keep and would get it all for her someday. She promised herself she would.
It was a fake promise.
Nothing like she did not get her hands on the most “desirable”. She did. And like promised, it was only hers. All hers. She had everything she ever wanted. She realized it was quite used already, but still loved it all the same. With all the flaws and scars.
Underestimated what she deserved. And so, she got punished. She got punished for underestimating what she deserved.
Gradually, the scars turned into thorns and pricked her. The delicate link was broken, the silken threads loosened. It caused unending pain, it put her down. It lowered her self esteem to a dangerously low level. She was so down deep into the earth by now that it was difficult for her to get back up.
She hated being so weak.
The hatred of her vulnerable persona won over her passion, desire, love. And she could not hold it anymore. She threw away what she had once craved for. How much ever she loved it, it was disappointed, it disappointed her. She loved to make things better, not worse. And here, she saw that her love did not help. She realized her love deserved to heal the deserving.
She threw it away. And throwing away something you loved so dearly was not easy. Throwing it meant hurting herself, hurting IT. When she did find the courage enough to do so, it fell apart. Everything fell apart. Her fingers bled. More than ever.
She knew that the venom had to get out.
So she bled.
The venom left her system null and void of love. She did not believe in love anymore.
Daily Prompt: Underestimate